Adding a new baby to your household is such a joyous occasion, but it also brings big changes for everyone, especially the older sibling. Here are a few tips based on my experience as a doula.
1. Talk About Your Baby Before the Birth
Start preparing your older child during pregnancy. Share how exciting it is to welcome a baby. Use age-appropriate language to explain what babies need and how they’ll grow. Let them feel involved by touching your belly or listening to the heartbeat. Remember to use positive language around pregnancy and birth!
2. Involve Them in Preparations
Invite your child to help set up the nursery or pick out clothes for their sibling. When they’re part of the process, it can spark excitement instead of uncertainty. It shows them they’re valued and included. Just be sure to involve them in decisions where you’re okay with their choices! (Don’t give them the option of picking out wall color paint or you may end up with a neon purple nursery!)
3. Share Stories About Siblings
Read books or watch animated shows about siblings. These stories can help your older child understand what being a big sibling is all about and set positive expectations for their new role. One of my favorites is Daniel Tiger: Big Brother Daniel.
4. Let Them Meet the Baby Gently
When introducing your older child to the baby, do it at their pace. If possible, greet them without holding the baby first, so they don’t feel like they’ve been replaced. Then, let them explore and interact naturally. Have very low expectations! I’ve seen many introductions go worse than expected. I always remind parents that hopefully someday they will have a good laugh about the experience!
5. Celebrate Their Big Sibling Role
Make them feel proud by emphasizing their special status. You could give them a small gift “from the baby” or throw a mini celebration honoring their new role. It’s a great way to channel positive energy!
6. Give Them a Job
Assign simple, age-appropriate tasks like helping grab diapers or singing to the baby. These “jobs” let them feel like they’re contributing and create a sense of teamwork. If they do not like being a helper, that’s ok too! Follow their lead.
7. Set Aside One-on-One Time
Prioritize individual time with your older child. Whether it’s a daily bedtime story or a walk in the park, these moments help them feel loved and seen. Little kids don’t have a good sense of time. Doing a few small, short activities one-on-one with them throughout their day might make a more significant impact than one mega-event.
8. Be Patient with Mixed Emotions
Change can be hard. Your child may feel excitement, but also confusion or jealousy. Validate their feelings, offer reassurance, and model understanding. A little patience goes a long way!
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